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my Papa

Feb. 11, 1924 – Sep. 20, 2010

Jim is survived by his loving wife of 68 years, Dorothy; 6 children, 22 grandchildren, many great-grandchildren and great-great grandchildren, and numerous nieces and nephews. Preceded in death by his parents and 11 brothers and sisters.

Jim was a Deacon Emeritus at the First Baptist Church of Wylie, Texas and a WWII Army veteran, serving in the South Pacific. He was very involved with community and church activities, and also an avid St. Louis Cardinals Baseball Fan. Jim was a loving husband, father, grandfather and friend; and will be greatly missed by all who knew and loved him.

I will undoubtably miss this man every day of my life while I’m still on this earth. It will be so difficult, but as my wise Aunt Minnie said, “Our loss is his gain because he’s with the King of King and Lord of Lords!” Papa is now hanging out in heaven with my other (ultimate) Papa.

To keep with the theme of my previous post, I feel like I should share an article that’s been buzzed about within the Christian community:

The Good Christian Girl: A Fable | Christianity Today | A Magazine of Evangelical Conviction.

Most Christian women I know (including myself) can relate to this on a frightening level. The other night I was talking to my older and wiser male friend, and I asked him what he thought about this article. He reinforced my theory, which is that most of the male-dysfunction as far as relationships are concerned can be blamed on absent/lacking fathers. Without strong male role models to show boys how to be men, we have a bunch of “boys who can shave” running around without the necessary tools for manhood. They are perpetual adolescents striving to fill in their missing pieces with sex, expensive toys, and anything else that they think might make them feel more like a man. Unfortunately it takes a lot of time, persistence, and work for these boys to find those missing tools – and most don’t have a clue about how to find them.

Dear loyal friends and readers, I have another Papa update for you.

Last week my Papa was admitted to the hospice unit at the recommendation of his visiting hospice nurse last week. However, medicare will only pay for 5 days of hospice (at the discretion of the hospital), and since he was doing a little bit better, they were going to discharge him this week. But then he took a turn for the worse yesterday afternoon. He started having mad hallucinations, along with uncontrollable sweating, laughter, and tears. He announced that he was going to die within two hours, and he had seen heaven and his deceased family members welcoming him. This was so unlike anything he would ever say, so all of my family (within state lines) left their jobs and rushed to the hospital. The nurses thought it could be the end. But by the end of the day, he had calmed down, and besides a lot of vomiting (poor guy), he was better this morning. He is a fighter! He wants to stay alive, and wants to stay by my grandma’s side.

Since he is doing so much better, hospice is kicking him out of the unit again (causing some drama/stress on the family), and he is being sent back to assisted living as long as they can find him a hospital bed and a full-time nurse.

It’s been an exhausting and emotional few days, to say the least. I’ve been stressed about possible last-minute travel to Indiana when the time comes (which I thought might be yesterday). I looked into my family’s pilot “companion vouchers,” but they are unavailable until after labor day. I’ve looked into compassion/bereavement fares, but let’s just say I don’t think that $600-700/ticket is very compassionate. So I am praying that the Lord will provide when the time comes.

I just googled “how to say goodbye to someone you love.”

It’s the last day of my trip back “home” to see my grandparents. When I was hugging Papa on Friday, he held me and said, “My little girl…I wish I could live forever.” Heartbreaking and so incredibly sweet. The unfortunate truth is that he is on hospice, and is deteriorating quickly. This may be the last day I get to spend with both my grandparents while they are still here on this earth. And so I am faced with a seemingly impossible task: saying goodbye.

I have the worst memory ever (save actual mental patients), which is one of the reasons I take so many photos. Every day I’m afraid I’ll loose the details of him. His winkled hands. The life in his eyes. The tone of his voice. The way he sings his nicknames for me. The ridiculously lovely Italian phrases, randomly thrown into everyday conversation (and no, we’re not even Italian). I’ve wished I had a video camera for all the most memorable moments, so that I could hold onto them, and play them back for the future loves in my life: my not-yet-known husband, children, and family.

But today he is still here. And so is my sweet Grandma.  I still have a few precious hours to sit with them and the rest of my family. I don’t want to overthink it, and I don’t want to fall apart. I want to savor these moments, to be truly present and grateful for them.

Please pray for me.

Sign it! Petition for more Weiner!

Read about it!

I’m going to try out a new blog “theme.” I’m going to post great one-liners (or short conversations) I’ve heard (or overheard), read, or said throughout my day. They might be ridiculous, hilarious, grossly inappropriate, beautifully truthful, or completely on-point. Either way, they’ll be little nuggets of awesomeness for you to carry around in your pocket (you know, if you read this from your mobile or happen to print out my posts and carry them around….or you could carry them in your heart, like e. e. cummings).


Porn-arific, Burger King.

Check out their new racy ad.

Cute article.

“Given the research indicating how important friendships are to health (Mr. Zaslow cites one study where women with the most friends lived 22% longer than those with the fewest number), perhaps it shouldn’t be surprising that women tend to outlast men.” – haha.

“Thank you for bein a friend.” 😉

The Influence of Los Angeles

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