You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘Hilarious’ category.

I love this site. Admitting that surely brings me to new lows in many of your minds, but what can I say? I have a raunchy sense of humor. I picked some of my “cleaner” favs  to share here:

(301): Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.

(573): shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.

(253): I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
(281): No. Just liquor. Time’s no good.

(612): i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
(952): what?
(612): i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn

(812): If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.

(317): when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single

(206): Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.

(6008): Spent thirty minutes trying to wee in a cup for my STD test. If only I got that shy with boys I wouldn’t be in this predicament

(972): they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE ***(props to D-town)

(631): Come here. I’m drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.

(305): If she didn’t want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn’t have such a furry rug in there

This banner ad is great. Just keep clicking!

Only Conan would canoe the LA River. El grosso, Conando! I hope they got tested for whatever it is you can catch from gross LA sewage!

Watch it on hulu.

me: omg i’m so f’in sick. my cold came back w/ a vengence today. i lost my voice completely for most of the day, i feel soo icky. this BETTER go away by SF. i was gonna do 6 mi tonight to get ready for it, and it looks like i’ll be in bed

 

mason: please take meds and get in bed. crystal has had the flu for the past 2 days. we need you guys to get better by sat. dont waste energy. we cant drive a car full of nasty up to san fran

 

me: car full of nasty! LOL.

______________

 

So yeah, I’ve been in pretty sad shape the past few days. I’m SO OVER BEING IN BED.

 

In unrelated news, when did my life turn into an episode of Sex & the City?!? Seriously, it’s kind of hilarious. If you’d like to know more, you’ll need to take me out for drinks. Or cough syrup, as the case may be. Sigh.

We are the blonder version of the Gilmore Girls

We are the blonder version of the Gilmore Girls

I just submitted the following IM convo to postcardsfromyomomma.com:

via IM

Backstory: I live across the country from her.

MOM: I just joined FACEBOOK! My palms are sweating like crazy – this stuff makes me soooo FN nervous!

ME: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! u r hilarious! calm down, it’ll be ok. i can help u.

MOM: I need you HERE to help me!!!! Oh, and that reminds me – I need new songs downloaded onto my ipod please! COME HOME! FAST & FURIOUS!!! (FF)

ME: i need some fast and furious vacation time, unfortunately that is not on my horizon.

ME: i just tagged you in some pics so now you have pics on your pg

MOM: Oh My! Thanks ?????

ME: u can untag yourself if u hate them. welcome to FB!

MOM: Thanks! BTW, love the picture of you and the horse in one of your albums – and the pug – soooooo cute!

ME: thx! wow u’ve already been looking thru my albums. c? ur good at this.

MOM: But of course I’ve been looking at your photos – I will do anything to see pics of my girl!!! You are sooooo beautiful! MY throat is sooooo sore….. theraflu time…

ME: aww thx. feel better.

MOM: thx. i don’t know how to get back to fb…UH DUH!

MOM: Okay – signing off now. Have a great evening! XOXOXO

“I’m trying to get to a point where I can just lay in one place and don’t have to do anything, ever.”

Thanks, Will.

I like ’em thick and red-lettered…

Thanks, Sheli!

Moms are hilarious! I love this site. My mom cracks me up all the time; I should start looking for material to submit :).

*link via DailyCandy

This article in The Onion totally cracked me up.

“Further analysis revealed that 54 percent of respondents are not getting any younger over here. Nearly 10 percent don’t understand what the big holdup is. And 23 percent are not only ready, but have been ready for the past half hour, so let’s go already.”

I really enjoy the photos and accompanying captions (F bomb alert).