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It’s a jingle you just can’t escape (in LA), and I think I’m going to pay them a visit tomorrow. I want to test drive one of their lower priced Hyundais. While it’s foreign – earmuffs (blindfolds?!?) all my union working Ford Plant family members – Hyundai has the best warranty (10 years / 100,000 miles), and their cars are cheap.

One day I want to dance in one of these marketing schemes:

My transmission went out, and rather than putting another $2000 into my 10-11 year old car, I think it’s best to start looking at new(er) cars. I’m by no means in an ideal or even remotely ideal position to purchase a car and commit to monthly payments. In fact, I have no idea how I’m going to do it. I’ve sought advice, but all I’ve gotten is conflicting opinions:

Mechanic: Fix the transmission, sell the car later and make your $2000 back

Dad: you won’t get 2000 for your car, so buy a cheap, foreign car like a Kia so you have the 10 year / 100,000 mi warranty

Mom: buy a newer, used car, or buy a Ford Focus

Friends: try Carmax

Aunt: buy American

Friends: buy foreign

Boss: lease

Dad: never lease, you’re throwing your money away, and don’t buy another used car

AHHHHHH. It’s enough to make my head spin. Not to mention that I’m so strapped right now! I never wanted to have to go through this alone, yet here I am, sans car expert to help me with this major life purchase/decision. Ugh.

This is my friend’s dentist:


CLEARLY, I’m going to the wrong dentist. My dentist is very good, but he looks like my dad, or maybe my uncle. In other words, he does not look like my future boyfriend.

I’m just sayin, I might have to drive out to Mission Viejo for a “consult.” Oh wait..what’s that I feel? A sudden toothache?

Day 7 of Detox:

I decided to “fast” from food an extra day and only drink the detox powder for the the 4th day in a row.

I feel GREAT. Better than I did on day one. Worked out for an hour, and sat in the sauna and sweated for awhile.

Weighed in, and…get this…SEVEN POUNDS in SEVEN DAYS. Oh yeah!!!

I know a lot of Protestants who choose to practice Lent.


Are you giving anything up?

Yes, I realize I originally wrote that this would be a ten day detox, but after my free consult with the super nice nutritionist in my doctor’s office, she said I should try to stretch the meal/powder plan into 4 more days, since I will have enough powder. In case you are curious, the powder tasted horrible to me for the first 3 days. After that, I realized I could add a little cinnamon and ice and blend it – it helps IMMENSELY.

Today marks my 3rd day without eating any food. The plan includes 3 days with NO food – only the rice/protein powder mix with water. I’m considering stretching my fasting one more day for two reasons: 1) I REALLY want to loose weight, and 2) my car is in the shop and I cannot make it to Trader Joes to buy spinach and strawberries, which is supposed to be my lunch tomorrow.

Anyhow, the fact that I’m even considering not eating for yet another day should tell you that I’m doing O.K. This is not nearly as difficult as I thought it would be. The first day of the program was tough – I remember having headaches (probably due to no caffene, no sugar, and no fake sugar!). Beyond that, my only complaints are: sleepiness (yes, I’m so ridiculously tired, even though I’ve been sleeping well and for about 7-8 hrs/night), moderate muscle aches, and moderate hunger. Doable.

Mind (and prayers) over matter.

“Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God (and expensive protein/rice powder).” Matthew 4:4 (& me)


I’m starting a 10-day detox program that my Doctor recommended, and I feel like it’s one of my biggest undertakings ever (prayers/encouragement welcome).

A simple explanation of the plan: For the first 3 days, I can only eat very small portions from an approved food list (free of sugar, dairy, preservatives, and gluten). In those three days, I slowly replace more and more meals and snacks with an expensive amino acid powder that I mix into my water (and no, it doesn’t taste very good). Then on days 4-6 I only drink water and powder (no food). Days 7-10 slowly reintroduce approved foods via snacks and meals. By the end of 10 days, my metabolism is supposed to reset itself, and my body should have less toxins. Added bonus: everyone who has done this plan has lost an average of 10 lbs.

Confession: I’ve never really fasted (beyond fasting before surgeries). Terrible, I know. Jesus fasted, and he set the example for us to fast and pray. I’ve always been too a) weak, and b) scared, to ever give fasting a try. But since this program comes with a medical stamp of approval, I’m on board. I paid for it, and I’m committed. I’m scared shitless, but I’m doing this thing.

Please pardon my possible withdrawal symptoms.

Hollywood ASST from Back of the Class on Vimeo.

Check it out.  I hear we’re getting I.O.U.s instead of state tax returns. LAME.