Even a girl with a broken heart (me) couldn’t muster a tear for this movie, which was rumored to be a real tear-jerker. My heartstrings weren’t pulled, and I was not impressed.

Let’s begin with the trailer. It’s ambiguous, for sure. It communicates a sense of urgency and philanthropy, but not much beyond that in terms of plot or setup. But it is WILL SMITH, so 0f course I wanted to see it.

The film itself begins interestingly enough. Will Smith calls 911 to report a suicide. When asked the identity of the victim, he says, “me.” OK, that’s pretty intriguing.

But it goes downhill from there. After he hangs up the phone, we are accosted with abrupt cuts of out-of-order scenes from his life. For the first several minutes (the majority of the first act?) I still had no idea what was going on, which also meant that I had little vested in the film beyond trying to make sense of its chaos.

Don’t get me wrong, I like a good mystery, and I enjoy figuring out plot twists and turns. But the mystery in this film was created by purposefully leaving out important information to the story, in hopes of keeping the audience’s interest and building suspense where plot failed. Honestly, if all the information was given in the correct order (and still included necessary flashbacks), this would have been more appropriate as a made-for-TV movie.

Once I began to sort out the pieces and make sense of the story, it became very clear what was going to happen. After all, the movie had already given away its ending. That’s right, the scene you saw at the beginning – it becomes very clear that it is actually the resolution. Once I realized that, I was just  hoping for a twist or turn or SOMETHING so the movie could redeem itself from blatant predictability. Unfortunately, I didn’t get one. The rest of the story played out just as it told you it would. And then it ended.

I’d complain about the price I paid for the ticket, except that my temp agency sent me free movie passes for Christmas (thanks!).

My recommendation? You’re better off seeing Yes Man (which was by no means brilliant but much more entertaining than Seven Frowns…I mean pounds).

p.s. Can anyone explain why this movie was called Seven Pounds? Maybe I’m not smart enough to get the title.